10 Rules for Expectant Fathers

10 Rules for Expectant Fathers: The Millennium Edition.

1uring the birth of your child, (for details of attendance see 1984 edition) do not consider yourself to be as important as anyone else in the room. Know your place; you are invisible.

2: It is your duty to inform relatives and friends of the arrival with raw emotion.

3: Actively involve yourself in all aspects of maintenance in the first few weeks after the birth of your child. You may find that this helps to pre-occupy your mind, easing any anxieties over the reality of the situation.

4: Do not loose your temper. The psychological atmosphere which arrives with your child, should help to sedate any irrational thought processes.

5: Your life may now be divided into 2 distinct parts; Never look back at part 1 with feelings of regret, it is your duty to remain focussed on part 2.

6: Adopt a sleeping style which allows you to monitor the breathing pattern of your child whilst still resting, with eyes closed. (see article on; "Limbo control"- in next edition)

7o not expect others to praise you for your actions. This out-dated practice only leads to feelings of alienation and detachment.

8: Give up all emotional ties with material items. You will find that a mutual respect for your belongings is something that must be achieved. Personal interests and desires must never outweigh the needs of your child.

9evelop a circle of friends that are in a similar situation to yourself. These individuals should be used as a tool for reflective thinking.

10: Never become invisible to your child. If you do, you will fail.